85+ Funny Birthday Card Messages for Everyone You Know (Yes, Even the Dog)

 

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (insert name of loved one here), happy birthday to you!

Everyone has a birthday, which means every single person you know should be celebrated some time throughout the year. OK, that may be a bit excessive. But still, there are plenty of people worth topping a cake with candles for!

Birthdays can be tricky, because, as we said, everyone has one! Add a clever message to make your card feel even more personal and unique. 

Here’s a list of LOL-worthy ways to let the people in your life know you remembered (and celebrated) their birthday with a smile! Whether you want to make a family member, a friend, a romantic partner, or a colleague giggle, we promise we’ve covered all bases with the funny birthday card messages below! 

Funny Birthday Messages to Mom

1. Mom, all of my quirks come from you, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! Happy Birthday!
2. Moth - er: (noun) Cheap therapist and best friend. Happy Birthday Mother!
3. Happy Birthday to a mum who has the best son/daughter in the whole wide world!
4. I got it from my Mama: Total awesomeness!

5. Happy Birthday, Mom! Thanks for your unending support & the good looks! I don't know what I'd do without you!

6. Sound the A-llama! Today we're celebrating Mama! Thank you for being the most fun-loving & compassionate person in my life. You're the best! 

Funny Birthday Messages to Dad

1. I think being your child is gift enough. You lucked out! Happy Birthday Dad!
2. Happy Birthday Dad! May you catch all of the fish, drink all of the beer, and do whatever else dads do!
3. Dad, thanks for sharing your DNA. Now we’re both amazing!
4. I don't need to make jokes about your age on your birthday now. I mean, it's honestly not even funny anymore! Happy birthday, old man.
5. Hey dad, today's going to be great! It's not your father's birthday party if you know what I mean. It's mine! Get it? (I think I've got the dad jokes down!) 
6. Cheers to you, Dad! Happy Beer-th Day! Drink one for me. 

Funny Birthday Messages to Brother/Sister

1. Happy Birthday sis! Thanks for finally growing out of that annoying stage you had.
2. Even if you weren't my only sister, you’d probably still be my favorite! Happy Birthday!
3. Happy Birthday bro! Don’t forget, I’ll always be there when you fall to pick you back up again — but only after I finish laughing!
4. Happy Birthday to the World’s Most Okay-est Brother! Love you lots!
5. Happy birthday & congratulations! You're the oldest you've ever been, and that's quite an achievement.

Funny Birthday Messages to Step Mom/Dad/Sibling

1. Happy Birthday to my wicked-ly cool stepmom!
2. I’m so glad you stepped into my life! Happy Birthday Dad!
3. Happy Birthday to my brother from another mother!
4. Happy Birthday to my sister from another mister!

Funny Birthday Messages to Aunt/Uncle

1. 9 out of 10 women get their awesomeness from their aunt! Happy Birthday Auntie!
2. Aunt, you glad I didn’t forget your birthday this year?
3. Happy Birthday! Thanks for fulfilling your prophecy as the Fun Uncle! 
4. You, sir, are one awesome uncle. Three cheers for awesome uncles! Hip Hip Hooray!

Funny Birthday Messages to Grandma/Grandpa

1. The world needs more sweet grandmothers like you. Grandchildren can’t spoil themselves!
2. Grandma, you are wonderful. Thanks for always giving me those things that mom said I couldn't have! 
3. I love how we don’t have to say out loud that I’m your favorite grandkid and you're my favorite grandpa. Happy Birthday to you on your special day!
4. It's scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer. Grandpa, look at you go!
5. You're not old, you're classic! Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Funny Birthday Messages to Husband/Wife/Boyfriend/Girlfriend

1. There are no candles on your cake this year because all of your wishes came true the day you met me!
2. I would walk through fire for you! Maybe not fire, that sounds dangerous, but a really humid room. Maybe a mildly humid room because of my hair. Anyway, I love you very much. Happy birthday!
3. I like your face! Happy Birthday!
4. Okay, you win! I got you a super special, limited-edition, present. Surprise! It’s me.
5. Funny, intelligent, and smokin' hot. Oops, enough about me! Happy Birthday!
6. Make any wish; it's your birthday! But what more could you need? You have me. Just kidding, I hope all your birthday wishes come true!
7. In the words of Dwight Schrute, "I just wanna be friends plus a little extra. Also, I love you!" Thanks for being my best friend and more. The Birthday Dundie award goes to you!

Funny Birthday Messages to Co-Worker

1. Wooo free cake at work! Oh, and Happy Birthday to you!
2. I remembered your birthday! (Without looking on Facebook!)
3. Singing Happy Birthday is the most work I’ve done all week!
4. Happy Birthday to one of the few people I can somehow tolerate daily!

Funny Birthday Messages to Boss

1. Boss, in honor of your birthday we’re all taking the day off to celebrate!
2. You’re not the boss of me! Okay fine. Whatever. Happy Birthday!
3. 2 Things to Remember on Your Birthday: 1) Forget the past - you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present. I didn’t get you one. Happy Birthday! 
4. Cheers to getting old — like a boss!

Funny Birthday Messages to Best Friend

1. Today is all about you! And I could go on for hours and hours... 
2. We will be friends forever! You know me too much already. Happy Birthday!
3. Age and glasses of wine: Two things that shouldn't be counted today.
4. We’ve been friends for so long that I can’t even remember which one of us is the bad influence. Happy Birthday!

5. I knew it was your birthday before Facebook even told me. You must be pretty special!

6. Good news: you're another year older! Bad news: It's all downhill from here. Happy birthday, I think? :) 
7. Go, go, go, bestie, it's your birthday! We gonna party... Oops, got a little carried away! Here's to birthday celebrations past & present!

Funny Birthday Messages to the Barista You Know Too Well

1. Words can’t espresso how much your friendship beans to me!
2. If you ever doubt yourself, just remember, BREW CAN DO IT! Happy Birthday!
3. Thanks a latte for making a killer cup of coffee! Happy Birthday!
4. I’ll give it my best shot to always make room for you in my morning routine! Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Messages to Roommate

1. I’m glad you were born. My life would be totally boring without you!
2. Happy Birthday! You’re not old, but you’re not getting any younger!
3. Please wash your dishes. Happy Birthday! Love, Your (sometimes irritated) roommate
4. I would swim across the ocean for you! (Just kidding. There’s probably sharks in there. But it’s the thought that counts.)

Funny Birthday Messages to Dog/Cat/Other Pet Owner

1. I hope you have a paw-some barkday! I will always woof you!
2. Wishing this cool cat a purr-fect birthday full of mice, scratches, and naps.
3. Hoppy Birthday little Bun! Don't forget that somebunny loves you!
4. Who's ready to purr-ty?!

Birthday Jokes for Kids

1. What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday? It's roar birthday! Have a WILD birthday.
2. Why did the cupcake go to the doctor's office? It was feeling crumby. 
3. Did the teddy bear want cake on his birthday? No, he was stuffed. 
4. What kind of cake do ghosts like? I Scream Cake.
5. What does a turtle do on its birthday? Shell-ebrates. 

Every kid loves a silly birthday joke! And while kids don’t always appreciate a heartfelt message in a beautiful birthday card, they sure do love a fun pop-up! Browse our Kids Cards Selection to find out more.

Birthday Jokes for Adults

1. Why do candles love birthdays? They like to get lit.
2. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish the moment!
3. How do you know you’re getting old? You start to complain about "the kids these days’’!
4. The party don’t start…until you walk in!
5. What did the grape say to the guests at his birthday party? Eat, drink and be berry.

Want a birthday card to add to your birthday joke? Check out this Vintage Wine Birthday Pop-Up Card to make your loved one giggle!

50th Birthday Jokes

1. You're not old, you're just vintage.
2. What do you and a dinosaur have in common? You’re both prehistoric! 
3. You’re aging like a fine wine, so let’s celebrate with a big glass of it!
4. Are you a relic stuck in time? Because you never age! 
5. You may be a bit of an old fart, but you smell pretty fresh to me!

There’s nothing like a funny birthday card to make your loved one chuckle! And we have just the one - our Happy Birthday to an Old Fart Pop-Up Card always guarantees a laugh. 

Dad Birthday Jokes 

1. Some people never grow up. You are one of them. Ask mom if you don't believe me!
2. Dad, you’re like my personal driver and bank account all rolled into one person. That’s why I love you! Happy birthday. 
3. Another year, You’re not old, you’re just like your favorite car - a timeless classic! 

Corny Birthday Jokes

1. What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
2. What do monsters serve at their birthday parties? I scream cake.
3. Did you hear about the birthday candle sale? It was a big blowout!
4. Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday? He was feeling a little hoarse.
5. How can you tell if a birthday cake is sad? If it’s in tiers

 

What's worse than having nothing to write? Stressing out over messy handwriting. With Lovepop, you can write a custom message and we'll add it to your card and mail it directly for you. No stamps, no smudged pen marks — just beautiful, magical moments made easy. And with our Schedule a Card feature, you can order and schedule all your upcoming occasions, and we'll take care of the rest.